(This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.)
Time Traveling for Comedy
Word
count: 700
(712)
Genre:Comedy
Character:
A
philosopher
Material:
A
time machine
Sentence:
"Repeat
after me."
Bonus:
Your
character is fearless to the point of stupidity.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A
time machine. A portal to another dimension. A means of travel in
which you have all the time in the world. Definition, “a machine
capable of transporting a person backward or forward in time.” A
philosopher friend of mine, had a wise thought. The world today was
too serious. If he could harness the powers of a time machine, and
send others through time, space, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera,
then maybe the world would become a more light-hearted thoughtful
with a purpose place. Instead of the drudgery, misery, and thoroughly
depressing way it was.
So,
he started a GoFundMe. And soon, it was one of the largest grossing
fundraisers. Successfully creating the prototype, he himself tried it
out first. Setting the dial for 1952, he went back in time to see
Bing Crosby and Bob Hope together in a comedy class, “The Road to
Bali”. Staying back in the shadows, his heart was instantly
lightened by the laughter of joy.
“Ah,”
thought he, “I need to share this with others”.
As
Bob Hope said, “He's
gonna sing, folks. Now's the time to go out and get the popcorn.”,
he returned back to our time with new purpose.
More
time machines were formed, and he gave me the honor of being the next
to try. I decided not to go back too far either. Don Adams was my
jam. The spy of comedy, from “Get Smart”. Coincidentally, he
shared my birthday. I found myself on the soundstage when I emerged
from the time machine. Unfortunately, everyone thought I was an
actress who was to play a KAOS agent, so I ended up getting “killed”
within 5 minutes and having to go home since my scene was done. It
was totally worth it.
“Would
you believe...?”
My
friend Jem heard all about my adventure. I wanted to go again, but
she had signed up for the next slot. Ever since she had seen Jerry
Lewis in “The Nutty Professor”, she had been obsessed with
meeting him! Meet him, she did.
When
they were filming the line, “Well, just don't do something, sit
there!” she had accidentally gotten in the way off the cameramen.
They
liked it so much, that they used the line in the film as we know it
today. Not wanting to accidentally disrupt time, she returned early.
Thinking that it would be wise for her to enjoy the rest of the time,
the philosopher decided to let her use the rest of her time slot to
visit someone else. Was he ever wrong.
Jem's
second choice had been William Shakespeare. So, he decided to go send
her to see a comedy of his. Not wishing to send her back too far to
when he was primarily writing tragedies, he set the dial for 1595.
Unfortunately, that set her right in the midst of a literal and
figurative, “Comedy of Errors”. Firstly, the machine broke upon
arrival. It had never traveled more than 67 years into the past at
this point. Everyone had been using them to visit great comedians of
the 50s, 60s, and 70s. And considering the technology in 1595, there
was slim chance of her fixing it.
The
comedy proved to be amusing. But, as time passed and she remained in
this time, she knew that getting back to where she was would be
harder as it progressed. She befriended Shakespeare for the fun of
it, and he used her as inspiration for his tragedies. Fitting in as
best as she could as the years passed, she ended up playing one of
the wives in “Henry VIII”. Unfortunately she was in the theater
on June 29th,
1613 when it burned to the ground. The only reason we know all this
happened, is that Shakespeare himself scribbled a note of this to
himself. My philosopher friend went back into the archives to figure
out what had happened to Jem and discovered this fact.
And
so, despite the fact the time traveling was effective as long as you
stayed close to the future in a way, they had to be disbanded,
demobilized, and destroyed. The philosopher went into stand up
comedy, discovering it was a much more effective way to spread
happiness and brighten the world.
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